Meet Felix Sarco's Cromley Legussa
When Felix Sarco mastermind Gavin Robb sent his alter ego - an otherworldly being known as Cromley Legussa - to interview on the two-year old regional band's behalf, ec/dc was tickled with inspiration.  After all, if you had the opportunity to interview  Marilyn Manson, would you want Brian Warner to seize the spotlight?  In this case...maybe.  As we later discovered, the blue-collar, uniform clad front man who opened eyes at the Peanut Bar in Carbondale last week is as much the "multifaceted super sexy beast" (per the band's self-help mantra) as the glam-dripping Legussa.  Or as another Felix Sarco song puts it - "He's so hot you can cook your clams on him.  He's so smart you just won't get it."  Allow us to introduce the ringleader of a stereotype-defying band about to take rock and roll off the ventilator that's barely keeping it alive.

How have things been going?
Wonderful.  We're on a mission from Mr. Sarco to murder rock 'n' roll.  We have to euthanize it.  (Sarco is) a miserable jazz snob.  His belief is that the real war would be between jazz and rock n' roll.  And he hired us after a falling out in Wisconsin - I'm not sure exactly what went on-but he came in contact with us and formed us bit, by bit, by bit.  We're hired guns to destroy rock n' roll.  It needs to be put out of its misery.

So rock n' roll can't be saved?
Absolutely not.  Too many assholes are already running around trying to save it.  It's become a lucrative fly in the ointment.  It's a gold-shitting Terri Schiavo.  The powers that be are using this nostalgic hipster bullshit and the angst and all this other silly nonsense.  They're making a mint off nostalgic throwback.  Rock n' roll was made to die.  It was born to die young.  And it needs to die so that something else can take shape and continue.  The powers that be have hooked its sickened spirit up to this machine and they're milking it and milking it and its like they're keeping it alive long enough to cash the checks they've ripped out of its ass.  So we're doing the world a justice.

You're playing a show at Marywood on Wednesday(9/7/05)?
Yes.  With a wonderful band, Kairos.  We played the Movin' On festival (in State College) with Rusted Root and a couple other bands and we met up with them there.  They thoroughly enjoyed our fan fare and shenanigans and rock n' roll killing and they asked us to play with them at the Crowbar.  Now we're returning the favor at Marywood It should be a great show.  It's cheap, too.


You've played Marywood before?
Yes.  Actually our second show ever was a battle of the bands there.  This was two years ago.  We won that and garnered a little support.  We're al about the battle being sent to destroy rock n' roll but people don't often get the whole idea.  They really don't like to have to worry if they like something or not.  "Oh God!  Do I like this?  I'm not sure!  Does it fit into my societal schematic?"  People get some little curve ball thrown at them and I think they quit before they even swing at it most of the time.

Music is nostalgic for people?
Yes.  we call nostalgia bad porno.  There's good porno and there's bad porno.  There's good nostalgia and there's bad nostalgia.  But for the most part again, we don't like to dabble in the middle; we're extremists.  So we just call all nostalgia bad porno and move on.  Burn the past.  Nostalgia is a dangerous thing.  It's a drug like anything else.  You spend more time looking at what's gone on behind you and you're missing what's going on here and now.

Do you have a CD?
Yes, but it pales in comparison to our live show.  Every band says that.  It's very true, bout one of our members isn't even on there.  We were together a month when we recorded that stuff.  Gavin runs a studio in the Poconos and we just got down and did it right off the bat.  It was our attempt to break into the mainstream, to eat it from the inside out.  Now we are pure chaos advocates.  We want the (noise) to be somehow communicative.  In my idea, that would be the evolution of rock n' roll - it would be pure chaos.  Edible chaos - it needs to be digested.  There are plenty of hardcore and extreme band out there - they're doing incredibly wonderful chaos.  Absolutely magnificent stuff, but we're aiming to make it a product.  To put it in your TV tray, you one dollar Wal-Mart Salisbury steak of chaos.  Have you regurgitate that in a couple of years hopefully.  Chaos hooks and noise hooks and this idea of making white noise pop somehow. 

You also improv a bit?
A lot of (our songs have) built in improv sections.  Half of it is our general incoherence - we are all not sane in general.  Jeff and Jerett, our one guitarist and our one bassist, are just straight-shooting guys along for the ride.  They're human beings.  I'm a demi-god with a God complex.  As is Mr. C.C. Psychotica, our synth player.  We don't really have highly trained musicians by any stretch of the imagination.  No one would tolerate the shenanigans we pull.  Some of us can play our instruments.  Some of us can't.  I'm a trained singer, you wouldn't tell.  I scream and yell and go all over the place like a goddamned idiot - because that's what its all about.  If I wanted to sing classically, I'd sing classically.  I love rock n' roll.  I love to destroy it.  If you believe you're good enough to do it - do it.  The worst thing that can happen is (whispers) you can fail.  And who gives a shit?  And who says you failed if you tried.  That's as clichéd as anything.  What is failing?  Were you really trying to make it?  Or do you sincerely love music?  There are lots of people in lots of bands that you're going to nostalgically look at and build your career around - ask them if they like (music).  " Nope," they'd say, "we're in it for the money and that's why we're doing the reunion tour.  We hate each other."

That's a reason I like local artists.
I saw this crowd of people at the Breaking Benjamin show and you know how many bands are playing locally.  If you want to go see a show like that, you can see one any time - granted there aren't going to be pyrotechnics.

-That look like sparklers 'cause you're so far away.
That's where the artsy cats throw their tongue in the cheek.  You go to a local show and somebody will be like, "this song is about fire.  It's our cock rock song.  And this is our metaphysical penis."  If we had a lot of money, don't think for a second that we wouldn't make the biggest penis ever and it would shoot lightening.  By no means would we be going, "Huh?  We don't need pyrotechnics."  Would I love to have big things explode?  Or on a night that I wasn't feeling explosions, we could have incredible, spiritual light shows.  The money to do that would be terrific.  But to sit and say, "I made it?"  Pshaw.  I am NOT looking to get laid surprisingly, with as little as I wear on stage.  I'm there to freak out.  It's part catharsis.  It's part display.  It's part artistic integrity.  It's tongue-in-cheek sell-out.  It's making fun of the glam of rock n' roll.  We love doing that.
-alicia grega-pikul